So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
