Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
