...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize