woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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