Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize