Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
