I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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