And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
