I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's like iHOP with fire
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
