I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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