where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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