Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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