I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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