Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize