i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
