and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
