i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize