he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
