Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
