yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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