She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
