The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
