He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
