my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
