it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
