we're chasing vodka with high fives
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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