and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
