so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
