I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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