Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
