I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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