Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
