she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
