i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
