I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
