and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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