I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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