I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
