Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
