I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
