He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
