So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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