ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
