I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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