haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
