Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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