that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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