i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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