I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
