we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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