Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
