Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
