I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
