On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
