And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
