I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
