No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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