I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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