your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I am morally bankrupt
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
