I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
