So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
