Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
