My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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