Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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