"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
